You knew there'd be some. The lawyers make us do it, because that's how they are. But there's some good stuff here that you probably will want to know, just in case, down the line.

 

Our soap contains the following: Olea Europea (olive) Oil, Elaeia Guineensia (palm) Oil, Oryza Sativa (rice bran) oil, Cocos Nucifera (coconut) oil, water, sodium hydroxide, Organic Cocoa Butter, Castor Oil, and Vegetable TP. Fragrance oils and/or Essential oils make for the pretty sniffage.

While some of them might smell good enough to eat, we here at Happy Housewives would prefer you didn't. Because it's soap, not cake, despite what your nose might tell you. And besides...it's kinda gross-tasting. Not that we've licked it.

Recently.

 

Organic jojoba oil, and custom-blended fragrance oils. It's right around the 25%/75% ratio of jojoba-to-scent.

Jojoba's important, by the way, because it closely-matches the composition of your body's own sebum. It makes your scents last longer, since your body doesn't absorb the fragrance as quickly, and softens the skin, which is always good.

 

There's been a lot of talk about pthalates in perfume oils lately, and we just want to put your mind at rest: We've asked our suppliers about pthalates, and all of them have told us which ones, if any, have pthalates in them. And we don't use the ones that have 'em. Because keeping you healthy is just as important as keeping you smelling good.

Any supplier that hasn't answered the pthalates question, we've stopped using. Plain and simple.

We also don't use any artificial color in our perfumes. Soaps do use some FD&C colorants, but they're made specifically for cosmetic use, which means they're perfectly safe. Not that we'd suggest squirting them in your eyes or anything -- common sense is a good thing.

 

Okay, so not just lard, but animal-based products in general. Lard just sounds funnier.

We're not vegan here. Not that we don't empathize with the plight of little fuzzy creatures -- we've rescued four dogs, in fact, and are all about the stewardship of the earth. But we also live in the middle of the midwest, where they take away your driver's license and kick you out of the state if you don't have a steak now and again.

That said, ALL of the happy housewife products are made with vegetable-based oils only. They aren't truly vegan, inasmuch as we DO use silk proteins in our soap base (tussah, so they're wild-found, but it's still technically an "animal product"), but the scents are all cruelty-free and there isn't any lard in anything.

We also vehemently oppose the testing of human cosmetics on animals, and I swear, if I ever catch the people who test things on dogs, they're going to find out what it feels like to have soap thrust in their eyes over and over again, too. This makes us So. Not. Happy. Thus, we won't support it, directly or indirectly, EVER. Just for the record.

Besides...we prefer to test our stuff on unwitting friends and family who have no idea about the mind control powder we put inside every bar.....er....did I say that out loud? Ahem.

 

Again with the common sense, but there are certain oils that sometimes can cause reactions in some people. It's a small percentage, but every so often, you'll run up against something you have a sensitivity to. You might get a red spot where the oil went on, or your skin will feel itchy or burny.

Allergies happen, sadly. Hopefully, you know what yours are already and can avoid notes that might cause a reaction in your own skin. (For me, it's clove, for instance. Some clove notes turn me into a giant hive.)

Please, please, please test your oils on a small patch first, just in case. There shouldn't be a problem with most people -- these are premium fragrance and essential oils in here -- but just in case, do a patch test if you're concerned.

We are relatively transparent about the notes we use in most descriptions. If you have a known allergy, you are free to email us and we'll tell you what we know, because a non-hivey customer is much more fun.

One other note: While we don't use peanut oils or shea butters with regularity (we'll note it in the description if we have), it IS possible that some things have come into contact with nuts. Use caution if you're one of those who gets all anaphylactic around legumes.

 

Um...sorry, but no. We can't take any returns, due to the nature of the product and its use. Because, really? ewww. Used soap isn't as appealing as a used car. Or even a used car salesman, and you know how sexy those are.

Your oils are blended for you at the time of purchase.

We also aren't responsible for any misuse of the product. Oils and soaps are for external use only. Duh, I know. But we have to say it or the government will come and take our birthday away. And there is much freakier stuff out there on the internet that we'd rather not be involved in, ifyouknowwhatImean.

We hope you enjoy the stuff you get here, and that you continue to smell good for years to come.